


Just You & Me

by Sweetgirl2019



Category: Roswell New Mexico (TV 2019)
Genre: Angst, Fix-It, Getting Back Together, M/M, Romance
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-04-28
Updated: 2019-05-04
Packaged: 2020-02-08 16:28:56
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 4
Words: 16,025
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/18626959
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Sweetgirl2019/pseuds/Sweetgirl2019
Summary: After Michael chooses Maria in the finale, Alex decides he needs to make a change. When Michael realizes his mistake, will it be too late?





	1. One

**Author's Note:**

> Just another fix-it fic. Honestly, as disappointed as I was with the finale, I can't stop writing these fics. Where Malex is concerned, I need to keep my mind in a happy place until next season. I really hope it starts in the Fall and not next January! There will briefly be an original male character in this but this is Malex all the way.

 

*******

 

                Alex lowered himself on the front steps of his cabin, taking a sip of his coffee as he stared off into the distance. Eight days ago, he had gone to Michael’s Airstream, had waited until sundown before realizing Michael wouldn’t show. Heartbroken and alone, he’d made his way back home with a feeling of dread growing in his stomach. It wasn’t until the next morning when Kyle came by for a visit that he discovered everything that had happened. Alex had learned the truth about Noah, that Rosa was alive and that Max had slipped in a coma reviving her before springing awake in the hospital bed that morning. When he’d raised his brow at Kyle, knowing there was more to the story, his friend had finally mentioned that Michael had rushed into the hospital with Maria close behind him. As the crowd had gathered around Max while Kyle checked his vitals, Maria had leaned in to hug Michael tightly and give him a kiss.

               Hearing those words had cut Alex to his core as he realized why Michael had left him waiting. He felt angry and betrayed, heartbroken and shattered, but a part of him admitted his own fault in what had happened. He had been too late, walked away from Michael too many times. But what killed him was that he and Michael had started repairing things, that he felt there was hope despite everything that had happened. Knowing now that Michael had chosen his best friend, without even bothering to tell Alex he wanted someone different, left a bitterness in his heart that he couldn’t negotiate. His best friend engaging in a relationship with Michael after swearing she didn’t want him made things that much harder to swallow.

                He’d shut off his phone for the rest of the week and busied himself at the base, sleeping over at the barracks to avoid any run ins at his cabin. By the end of the week, he’d gone to his Colonel’s office and after a lengthy conversation with his superior gracing him with recognition, he’d finally signed his papers and took his first breath of freedom. The Colonel had tried changing his mind, to make him see how valuable he was to their military, but Alex had thanked his superior and denied the promotion. For the first time in over a decade, Alex was free from obligation and duty and he felt a desperate need to take advantage of his freedom.

                Looking up at the sound of the approaching car, he watched as Kyle made his way towards him. 

                “Morning,” Alex greeted, offering Kyle a smile.

                After Kyle’s run-in with Alex’s father, the Sergeant had been left temporarily paralyzed before requesting a new assignment overseas. Licking his wounds, he’d disappeared from Roswell with Flint close behind. Alex was sure his father would return but he took the leave as a temporary win. Kyle had been nervous telling Alex what he’d done but for the first time in over fifteen years, Alex had hugged him. Kyle had been too stunned to question the embrace, whether Alex was grateful for what Kyle had or hadn’t done. Instead, he had simply held the other man against him.

                “You sounded different on the phone,” Kyle started, leaning against the porch. “Less burdened, almost.”

                “I guess so,” Alex chuckled.

                “So what did you want to tell me?” Kyle asked, reaching out to grab the coffee and taking a sip, grateful that their friendship had reached a place where a comfort existed between them again.

                “My enlistment period finished the other day. Signed all my papers.”

                “Congratulations. You’re a free man,” Kyle said with a genuine smile. “Any plans on what you want to do?”

                “Actually, yeah,” he said, tossing Kyle a set of keys.

                “These are for the cabin. Why are you giving them to me?”

                “They’re yours, for now anyway,” Alex replied.

                When he saw the confusion on Kyle’s face, Alex pushed himself to his feet.

                “I got a cryptanalysis gig in California. It’s just a two month contract but it came at a good time.”

                “You’re leaving?” Kyle asked, frowning in surprise.

                “Yeah, I am,” Alex said with a small smile. “It doesn’t start for another three weeks but I figured I’d get a road trip out of it.”

                Kyle finished the rest of the coffee, his heart clenching at the news. He had just gotten his best friend back and now he was losing him.

                “Are you coming back after?”

                “I don’t know yet,” Alex replied with a shrug. “They said it could lead to something more long term if I want it. I guess I’ll see when I get there. Always wanted to go to California. Used to be my dream back in high school, to get out of Roswell and go somewhere warm, write music.”

                Kyle smiled at the thought, remembering a time from their youth before he had ruined everything when he and Alex would sit in his backyard, playing their guitars into the night. Kyle had been good but Alex had been amazing, his fingers flowing gracefully over the strings. The lyrics to the music he wrote had always haunted Kyle, breaking his heart as he recognized the pain Alex always carried with him.

                “Is that something you want to do again?”

                “I don’t know, maybe. It won’t exactly pay the bills, that’s what the codebreaking gig is for,” Alex said, his smile lingering. “But for the first time in I don’t even know how long, I feel free. My father’s gone and I have nothing tying me here anymore. Everything I thought I wanted, I lost. I need time away, a fresh start.”

                “Alex,” Kyle started, sighing softly. “He’s an idiot.”

                “Don’t,” Alex cut him off. “It’s hard enough making peace with his choice, with _their_ choice but that’s what I have to do. Starting fresh somewhere else, or at least getting away from everything that reminds me of what I lost, is the healthiest thing I can do for myself right now. If I stay, I can’t avoid them forever, you know? Eventually, I’ll run into one of them or both together and my heart’s not ready for that yet.”

                “I understand,” Kyle nodded. “For what it’s worth, I still think he’s an idiot and De Luca, we’re not exactly close, but it sucks, what they did.”

                “None of that matters anymore,” Alex said and released a deep breath.

                “When are you heading out?”

                “Well, since you just stole my coffee, I guess I’ll head to the Crashdown, grab another drink and head out from there.”

                “So this is goodbye?”

                “I won’t be gone forever, man,” Alex laughed, moving down so he was standing beside him. “It’s an ‘I’ll see you later’.”

                “I guess I’m just glad we’re parting on good terms,” Kyle replied, patting his arm. “I’m going to miss you.”

                Alex gave him a smile that warmed Kyle to his core before they met in the middle and embraced for several seconds.

                “Take care of the place while I’m gone,” Alex said when they leaned back. “You said you wanted a change of scenery too so why don’t you stay here while I’m gone?”

                “Yeah?” Kyle asked, liking the idea.

                “Yeah,” Alex nodded. “I never really had much personal stuff here and most of my clothes, I’m taking with me anyway.”

                “It’s only temporary though,” Kyle raised his brow. “Until you come back.”

                Alex laughed as he walked to his truck. “Until I come back.”

                He opened his door and turned around.

                “Tell Liz I said goodbye, will you?” he asked. “I wanted to call her but she has enough keeping her busy right now with Max and Rosa.”

                “I will,” Kyle nodded.

                “I’ll stay in touch with you from the road and when I get to California. I got rid of my phone and number already so I’ll just grab a burner somewhere,” Alex said before sighing. “I don’t want to know about anyone. Unless it’s something with my dad or some alien emergency, I don’t want to know anything. Starting fresh means leaving everything that hurts behind.”

                “I understand,” Kyle said, smiling kindly. “We’ll just talk about all your adventures on the road.”

                “Thank you,” Alex said, offering a final smile before climbing in his truck.

                Waving out his window, he pulled away from the cabin as Kyle watched him go. He drove for several minutes before reaching the center of town. Walking into the Crashdown, he greeted Arturo and ordered his coffee for the road. Turning to leave, he noticed Isobel sitting at the counter a few stools away, staring at her uneaten food. A part of Alex wanted to turn around and leave. He and Isobel had maybe exchanged ten words with each other throughout the years but knowing everything she had gone through with Noah, something in him pushed him towards her.

                “You okay?” he asked.

                Isobel seemed to snap out of her daze before lifting her face towards him. “What?”

                “I asked if you’re okay?”

                “Fine,” she replied, tossing her hair over her shoulders. “What’s it to you?”

                “Just friendly conversation,” he replied. “I heard everything that happened from Kyle. I just wanted to say I’m sorry.”

                “Why would you care?” she asked, her eyes critical. “We hardly know each other.”

                “True, but I know what it’s like to be a victim of abuse,” he said, his honesty making Isobel freeze. “It doesn’t matter if you were aware of the abuse or not, it’s something that stays with you, always.”

                She blinked several times, tears beginning to glisten her eyes.

                “Our situations may have been very different but I know what it’s like to have someone take advantage of you, exploit you, abuse you in a way that makes you feel powerless.”

                “Why are you saying all of this?” she asked, wiping a stray tear.

                Alex regarded her for a long moment before leaning against the counter to relieve the stress off his leg.

                “I didn’t have a good childhood and that pain never went away. I still carry it around like a second shadow,” he spoke quietly. “But I made a choice a while ago, that I wouldn’t be the victim anymore. Sometimes I’ve faltered, sometimes I’ve been weak, given in to my insecurities, to those critical voices in my head, walked away when I should have stayed. But those moments of weakness, they remind me that I’m not perfect. As much as the cards have been stacked against me and sometimes they really have, I refuse to let that trauma define me.”

                He reached down and patted his leg.

                “I refuse to let _this_ define me.”

                Isobel’s lip quivered as she looked at her food, no longer able to meet his gaze.

                “I know we don’t know each other all that well and maybe you’ll take everything I said and toss it away, I don’t know,” he shrugged. “But what you went through with Noah, don’t let it define you.”

                She looked up at him in wonder and he nodded before turning away.

                “Michael’s an idiot, you know?” she blurted.

                Alex froze in his spot and slowly faced her.

                “He’s just going through a lot right now, working through everything that happened. He’ll get it out of his system.”

                “I want him to be happy, as much as that pains me to say,” he said and Isobel could feel the sadness in his voice. “But ‘out of his system’ is one of by closest friends. I have to respect it.”

                “I guess you’re a better person than I am because I would be pissed,” she said, shaking her head. “Look, I can’t say that I understand what you two have because Michael hardly ever spoke about it with me, kept everything too close to the chest and I don’t know you very well either. But he’s just being an idiot right now.”

                “Isobel,” he said, his tone making her stop. “Thank you but it doesn’t matter anymore. Take care of yourself.”

                With a final glance, he turned and made his way outside. Isobel released the breath she had been holding and looked down at her left hand. Steeling her resolve, she smiled at her ringless finger and lifted her fork, taking a bite of her food. When he reached his truck, Alex took a moment to glance around himself at the streets of Roswell before climbing inside. Switching the engine on, he made a turn and drove out of town.

                *******

                Michael tapped his fingers nervously on the wheel as he drove down the dusty road. Ten days had passed since that night when he had gone to the Wild Pony, when he’d played the guitar for the first time in a decade, when Maria had kissed him. Being with her was easy and uncomplicated and they had started a tentative relationship. They hadn’t slept together that night, simply falling asleep in Maria’s bed before a frantic phone call from Liz had rushed him to the hospital, Maria choosing to stick by his side. Max had woken from his coma after several heart stopping minutes and overjoyed at the image, he and Maria had embraced and kissed, having previously lied to her that Max had been injured on duty. It wasn’t until he’d seen the critical look on Kyle’s face that he remembered Alex. So much had happened in those twenty-four hours that he had forgotten his words to Alex, telling him to come by his trailer so they could talk. When he’d glanced over at Maria, a different kind of guilt filled his stomach. As much as he knew he needed to have a conversation with Alex, to try and figure out what he wanted and needed, his hopes of avoiding a confrontation pushed the idea from his mind. He and Maria had spent time together over that week, mostly at the bar before exchanging small kisses and falling asleep at her apartment, sex never being an option. She had wanted to go by his trailer but something in him had kept her away from his bed. No one had ever slept there but Alex. In the decade they’d spent apart, his one night stands had always been in his truck or wherever his date for the night had lived.

                Although the air of guilt surrounded them, neither was able to take that final step and reach out to Alex. Swallowing the shame she felt at her own actions, Maria had acted on her feelings, creating a romantic atmosphere in her apartment. Michael sighed as he drove down the empty road, remembering last night and everything that had happened.

_When the food was done and the wine was nearly empty, she climbed onto his lap and started kissing him. Unable to keep his thoughts at bay, Michael’s mind swirled around the way it felt as he held her against him. The weight was wrong, the skin was too soft, the kisses not heated enough. He missed the feeling of roughness against his face, the feel of scars against his hand when he ran his fingers down the leg. Pulling himself away, he looked into Maria’s eyes and knew this wasn’t what he wanted. She saw the truth in his gaze and slowly moved away. They sat there for several awkward moments, neither sure of what to say._

_“I can’t believe I did any of this,” she finally cried._

_When he reach out to comfort her, she quickly pulled away._

_“You have no idea how much I love Alex,” she started, angrily wiping her tears. “He’s always been like a brother to me and I acted on whatever lust I felt for you without even considering him. What does that make me?”_

_He wanted to shoulder the blame, to tell her she had done nothing wrong but deep down, he knew the betrayal had been from both ends. Feeling a heaviness inside his chest, he ran his hand through his curls, the anger he felt starting to bubble inside him._

_“He walked away so many times!” he shouted, getting to his feet and staring down at her. “Every time I wanted him to stay, he walked away!”_

_“Is he still walking away?” she asked, her tears no longer falling._

_Michael hesitated, his mind going over their moments outside his trailer weeks ago, when Alex had revealed he’d known about aliens. He remembered their talk the next day, when Michael had shared parts of his childhood not even Isobel or Max had heard before. The moment at Caulfield, when Michael was so desperate to stay and die with his mother, but Alex’s words had convinced him to live. He’d said everything Michael had wanted to hear for over a decade. ‘But you are mine’ and ‘I never look away’. Seeing Alex at his trailer that night, so open and honest, had really scared him. Alex was no longer walking away, he was fighting for Michael and fighting for them. The moment the soldier had finally overcome his fears and worked through his trauma, Michael had given into his._

_“No,” he replied quietly. “He’s been fighting for us, trying to make me see how much he cares.”_

_“But this time, you walked away,” she finished and he looked down. “Be honest with me Guerin. I deserve that from you.”_

_Her words drew his gaze back to her._

_“Did you start whatever this is between us because you felt something real for me or was it because you were too scared of what you felt for Alex?”_

_The question made him take a sharp breath and when he couldn’t answer, she nodded, smiling sadly._

_“You really love him, don’t you?”_

_“More than anything,” his response was immediate._

_“Then why are you still here?” she asked._

_“I’m sorry, Maria.”_

_She held up her hand to stop him._

_“I have my own amends to make when it comes to Alex. I pretty much destroyed our twenty year friendship over a guy,” she said more to herself than to him. “How could I do that to him?”_

_When he tried to speak again, she held her hand higher._

_“Please, just stop,” she pleaded. “Guerin, you need to make things right with him. I can’t be the reason he loses the love of his life. It will be hard enough forgiving myself for this past week but I’ll never forgive myself if that happens. Go to him, tell him how you feel, and fix things.”_

_“I know he knows about us,” he said quietly. “What if he doesn’t forgive me?”_

_“Then grovel and apologize until he does. Prove to him that you’re ready to be with him just like he proved to you.”_

_When she saw the vulnerable look in his eyes, she took a deep breath and sighed._

_“For one, stop getting drunk at the bar every other night and while we’re at it, just stay away for a while. I need the space and Alex deserves that too,” she started. “Just show him, Guerin. Show him that he’s number one on your call list.”_

_He nodded before offering a small smile. “I really am sorry.”_

_“So am I,” she whispered. “But this will only get better if we fix what we broke. You love him more than anything. Prove it.”_

_He released the breath he had been holding and gave her a final nod before walking out of the apartment. A part of him had wanted to drive straight over to the cabin, to barge in on Alex with the adrenaline pumping through his veins and offer some grand romantic declaration. But knowing where he had just been, kissing Maria, he knew he needed to shower and change his clothes, to get his head on straight before finding Alex. He couldn’t mess this up. Not again._

                Michael finally made the final turn and pulled to a stop in front of Alex’s cabin, ignoring the car that was parked behind the building. He’d showered again that morning, wearing his cleanest shirt and a new pair of jeans Isobel had bought for him. Grabbing the small bouquet of red roses, he made his way towards the front door. He’d been unsure of the flowers at first when Isobel suggested them after his frantic call earlier that morning. Trusting her instincts and ignoring the odd happiness she had felt when he mentioned he wanted to fix things with Alex, he took a deep breath and knocked on the door. When no answer came, he reached forward and knocked again. Hearing the sound of footsteps from inside, he took a step back and swallowed his nerves. When the door burst open, Michael’s face quickly fell.

                “Wow, Guerin, I didn’t think you cared,” Kyle chuckled, amused by the man standing before him, large bouquet in hand.

                Ignoring the sarcastic reply, he narrowed his eyes in anger at the thought of Kyle being inside Alex’s home so early in the day. Swallowing the jealousy he felt, he frowned and lowered his hand.

                “Is Alex here?”

                The smile slowly fell from Kyle’s face. “Yeah, I figured he wouldn’t tell you.”

                “Tell me what?” Michael demanded, a feeling of unease filling him.

                “Alex left town, Guerin.”

                The four words felt like a knife through his chest.

                “What?” he croaked, hating the hurt he knew Kyle could hear in his voice.

                “His enlistment period ended last week. He said he needed a change and got a two month contract gig over in California. Took his car, said he’d road trip it and left me his cabin.”

                “He’s gone?” was all Michael could hear.

                “Yeah, man, he’s gone,” Kyle repeated.

                Michael swallowed the lump in his throat as his eyes began to glisten. “When is he coming back?”

                “I don’t know if he is, to be honest,” Kyle replied. “He said the job could lead to something permanent but that he’d make up his mind later.”

                Grabbing the cell phone he’d started carrying after Isobel’s insistence, he scrolled through his contacts when Kyle reached out to stop him.

                “He got rid of his number and chucked his phone. Really wanted a fresh start.”

                Michael stared at the roses in one hand and his phone in the other, his finger still pressed on number one in his speed dial list.

                “Man, this is awkward enough but I have to ask. What were you expecting, exactly, coming here with a bouquet of roses?”

                Michael looked up but words escaped him.

                “You left him standing outside your trailer all day after you told him to come by and you went to his best friend and started a relationship,” Kyle reminded.

                Michael glared but Kyle held his stance.

                “Honestly, I know the crap that happened in Caulfield was a lot. I was there too,” he said, crossing his arms at his chest. “But what you guys did was hurtful, man. If you wanted space, if you wanted De Luca instead, if you stopped wanting Alex, all you had to do was show up and tell him that. I don’t know De Luca all that well so I won’t speak for her but all _you_ had to do was just talk to him. I mean, come on, Guerin. This is Alex. He’s probably the most forgiving person in the whole world. Guy puts everyone’s happiness ahead of his own, always.”

                Michael looked down, the guilt and heartbreak he felt nearly crushing him.

                “He forgave me and I never thought that would happen,” Kyle continued before sighing. “Look, none of us are perfect. We all know that but this one is on you. The fact that you thought he would be waiting here with open arms is something else. Like I said, Alex is really forgiving but that shit you pulled was too much. He didn’t think either of you cared or respected him enough to tell him anything.”

                “I made a mistake,” was all Michael could say.

                “Yeah, I’m getting that,” Kyle nodded. “But choosing to leave town, to go out on his own, it was a choice he made for himself. He said he’s finally free, with nothing here to tie him down because who he thought had mattered no longer wanted him.”

                Michael felt his insides turning as he wiped at his eyes, angry that his vulnerability was being witnessed by Valenti.

                “Look, man, I’m sorry you’re hurting right now. From the little I know, I can only imagine that things haven’t been easy,” Kyle said, his tone gentle. “But Alex is gone and I don’t know when he’s coming back.”

                “He’ll probably stay in touch with _you_ ,” Michael said bitterly.

                “Yeah, he said he would but like I said, he tossed his phone so I don’t know when that’ll be.”

                Michael nodded and slowly moved down the steps.

                “Are you here because you're guilty?" Kyle asked, making Michael face him a final time. “Did De Luca call things off?”

                When Michael refused to answer, Kyle moved down the steps towards him.

                “I know I was a jerk in high school, especially to Alex,” he started. “But please believe that time and adulthood can change a man. I regret my actions from back then, all of them. They cost me Liz as my girlfriend and Alex as the best friend I ever had. She forgave me easily because she wasn’t the one I treated badly. But with Alex, it took a long time to get where we are. It isn’t the same closeness we shared as kids but it’s good in a different way and I’m so grateful for it, you have no idea. Me asking you why you’re here, it’s not so I can laugh at you. It’s because I care about him.”

                Michael swallowed, surprised at the sincerity he heard. “I came here because I love him. I’ve loved him since I was seventeen and I’ll always love him. Nothing will ever compare to that.”

                “Then give him the space he needs right now. The same space he would have given you if only you had talked to him,” Kyle said, no trace of venom in his voice. “What’s that famous saying? If you love someone, set them free. If they come back, they're yours.”

                “And if they don’t?” Michael asked quietly.

                Kyle regarded him for a moment before smiling. “He will.”

                “How do you know that?”

                “I know it because I have eyes, Guerin,” Kyle chuckled. “You and Alex are connected to each other in a way that puts every other couple to shame. He’ll come back, I promise. The question is when he does, will you be ready?”

                With a final pat at his shoulder, Kyle turned and walked back into the cabin. Michael waited until the door had closed before climbing into his truck. He sat for several silent moments, staring at the roses before his tears began to fall. Shutting his eyes and pressing his head against the seat, he released a deep breath to calm the rapid beating inside his chest. His heart was broken but he clung to Kyle’s words like a lifeline. If Valenti was so sure that Alex would come back, all he could do was keep himself hopeful for that day.

 


	2. TWO

*****

 

                Parking his truck at the side of Main Street, Alex pulled on his shades and wore his leather jacket as he climbed out. Behind him at the town square, organizers were adding the finishing touches to the music festival, held once every year in the summer. As he made his way towards the back and opened the trunk, he felt a gentle pat against his shoulder and turned to see a beaming Kyle waiting behind him.

                “Welcome home!” he greeted, moving forward to pull Alex into a hug.

                They held on for several seconds before Alex moved back and leaned against his trunk.

                “It’s good to have you home, man,” Kyle added, his smile sincere.

                “It’s good to be home,” Alex replied, glancing around himself. “Feels like nothing much has changed around here.”

                “Yeah, like I told you on the phone, it’s been pretty dead on every front. Regular human issues, alien issues.”

                Alex chuckled at his words. “Glad I didn’t miss much then.”

                Kyle bit his lower lip before he changed his footing. “You never asked me about Guerin.”

                Alex felt his heart flutter at the mention.

                “As long as things have been quiet, I’m sure he’s been okay,” Alex said and straightened. “I want that. I want him to be happy. I know it may not have seemed that way when I left town but honestly, that had more to do about where my own head was than anything else.”

                Kyle just watched him and Alex sighed.

                “Alright, yeah, I didn’t want to see them together. That would have killed me,” he said, smiling sadly. “But all I’ve ever wanted was for him to be happy and safe. For her to be happy too.”

                “Alex, I really think I should tell you…”

                “Please don’t,” he cut him off. “These past four months have been cathartic. I’m only here for a little while. I don’t want my mind going back there.”

                Kyle frowned at his words. “You’re not here to stay?”

                “No, just here to check in,” he said and motioned the stage behind them. “I’m in the festival too. At least, I hope to be.”

                “Seriously?” Kyle asked, his smile returning. “Alex Manes is going up on stage to sing one of his songs?”

                “Let’s not get carried away. I want to sing _a_ song, not one of my own.”

                “Your music was always beautiful, man,” Kyle assured him.

                Alex smiled softly before he pulled his guitar case from the trunk and clasped the handle.

                “You look good,” Kyle commented when Alex faced him. “Leather jacket, aviators. It’s like a whole new you.”

                “Still the same person, Valenti,” Alex chuckled as they made their way towards the town square. “Just a bit more comfortable in my skin, that’s all.”

                Kyle tossed his arm around his shoulders, smile wide and warm. “I’m glad you’re back for however long you’re here.”

                They shared another smile before crossing the road.

                “So, you really seemed to like California,” Kyle commented. “It sounded like a part of you wanted to stay. Did that have anything to do with ‘Matt’?”

                Alex shook his head fondly. “I told you, we were just friends.”

                “Right,” Kyle nodded. “Hot army Lieutenant meets you at the beach one day and you spend every minute of the next month in each other’s orbit. But no, you’re _friends_.”

                “Nothing happened,” Alex protested. “He was nice and it felt good being around that.”

                “Guerin’s not nice, I take it?”

                “Guerin was always nice,” Alex corrected when they reached backstage. “It was just too much, just overwhelming sometimes.”

                “True love can be like that,” Kyle said easily.

                Alex gave him a critical look. “He chose my best friend without telling me. Whatever I felt for him, it obviously changed on his end.”

                Kyle sighed heavily as he watched Alex walk up the steps.

                “You sticking around for the show?”

                “I wouldn’t miss it.”

                Alex gave him another smile before making his way towards one of the organizers. Shaking his head in exasperation, Kyle turned towards the seats, freezing when he saw Isobel dragging a reluctant Michael behind her.

                “Oh, this should be fun,” Kyle said with a laugh.

                “Isobel, why are we here?” Michael whined as she finally stopped to face him.

                “We’re here because I’m tired,” she replied, her frustration leaking through her words. “It’s been four months, Michael. Every waking moment you’re not at work, you’ve been occupied with your secret project that no one knows about.”

                “It’s personal,” he shrugged.

                “Fine, as much as it kills me, I get that,” she nodded. “But I’m worried about you, Michael.”

                “Isobel, I’m fine,” he assured her.

                “You never want to go out, you hardly ever drink, you don’t go to the bar anymore. You’re scaring me!”

                He rolled his eyes at her theatrics. “I’m not going to the bar because it’s still awkward with De Luca. Me not drinking anymore? Guess I want to be better than the town drunk everyone thinks I am.”

                “You’ve never cared what people think of you,” she frowned before the look in his eyes made her soften. “You care what Alex thinks.”

                Michael looked away at her words.

                “You don’t even know when he’s coming back, or even if he is.”

                “Valenti’s sure,” Michael shrugged.

                “So until then, I need to get used to the new you?”

                “It’s still the same me, Isobel. Just more sober.”

                She laughed and shook her head fondly. “Come on.”

                Leading him through the crowd to the fifth row, she took a seat next to Kyle as Michael slid in beside her.

                “Thanks again for getting us these seats,” Liz smiled in her direction, her arm looped through Max’s.

                “Yeah, the concert should be _really_ good,” Kyle added, smiling to himself.

                “What’s wrong with you?” Isobel poked him in the side. “You’re up to something.”

                “Not at all,” Kyle feigned innocence, ignoring Michael’s critical brow as the rest of the seats started filling.

                When the festival hostess walked up on the stage, Michael forced himself to look forward.

                “Welcome to the Twenty-Fifth Annual Roswell Music and Talent Festival,” the young hostess addressed the crowd to an applause. “As you know, we like to showcase our local talent, have them take the stage and show us how gifted they are. We have a very exciting roster for you this year so please give a warm cheer to all of our talented entertainers!”

                The crowd applauded again as Michael groaned.

                “To start things off, please welcome Tiny Tina!”

                She walked off to the side and a woman over six feet tall made her way towards the microphone, dressed in a bedazzled red dress. She pointed to the local band chosen for the festival and once the folk music started playing, the woman began tap dancing on stage. Michael let out a laugh that he quickly muffled when Isobel slammed her elbow in his side.

                “Seriously, you called me here for this?” he deadpanned.

                “Why is her name _Tiny_ Tina?” Kyle questioned as they watched the tap dance continue.

                “Isobel, honestly, I have a lot of stuff I need to do.”

                “No!” she whispered harshly. “You’re not going anywhere.”

                When the recital was over, the crowd applauded politely and the abnormally tall woman walked off the stage.

                “Thank you, Tiny Tina!” the hostess exclaimed, clearing her throat. “Next up, we have the Johnson Twins!”

                As the crowd watched with patience, a set of three year old twin girls were ushered onto the stage by their excited mother, dressed like Disney princesses. A pop song Michael didn’t recognize started playing in the background by the bored band as the mother tried signalling her twins to dance. Both little girls simply stared at their mother, clueless to their surroundings. The song quickly ended and the mother waved nervously towards the crowd as she dragged her daughters away.

                “Seriously, the lack of talent in this town is embarrassing,” Isobel commented.

                “Thank you Debbie and Darla Johnson!” the hostess said nervously, the applause lessening. “Alright, everyone, next up we have Bob…okay, there’s no last name. Just Bob!”

                She slapped her hand over her forehead and quickly moved away. They watched as a man in his eighties slowly walked to the edge, dragging a stool behind him. Isobel and Liz tried stifling their laughs as the older man started singing his version of Old McDonald to the crowd, tapping on his knees for effect.

                “Are we sure _these_ people aren’t aliens?” Michael asked, his words making Isobel snort.

                When the man was finished singing, he walked past the stunned band as the anxious hostess dragged herself towards the crowd.

                “Thank you, Bob, for that lovely rendition of Old McDonald Had a Farm!” she said and swallowed when a couple people clapped in the crowd.

                “I’m out of here,” Michael exclaimed.

                “Michael, please just stay. For me?” Isobel pleaded.

                She was using her biggest pout and he sighed before leaning back in his seat.

                “So the talent this year has been interesting,” the hostess continued, glancing back down at her clipboard before her eyes grew wide. “Alright, ladies and gentlemen, we have a treat for us right now! This seems to be a last minute addition to the talent roster. Please give it up for Captain Alex Manes!”

                Michael’s head snapped up as he watched the man his heart ached for walk onto the stage. Alex had removed his leather jacket, dressed in his dark jeans and sleek, black sleeveless shirt, his aviators hanging at the front. A fresh tattoo covered his left bicep and as hard as Michael squinted, he couldn’t make out the words. All he could do was watch the man he loved with every fiber of his being saunter forward as if he’d stepped out of Michael’s fantasy.

                “Oh my God,” Liz exclaimed as she and Isobel glanced at Michael but he couldn’t tear his eyes away from the stage.

                The band seemed to perk up at the latest talent and Alex waved in their direction.

                “I’m okay guys, just my guitar is good.”

                Taking a seat on the stool Bob had left behind, Alex adjusted the microphone and lifted the guitar onto his legs.

                “Hey everyone.”

                “Hooah!” a few people shouted from the audience.

                Smiling in thanks, Alex waved two fingers in salute.

                “So, I haven’t played in front of anyone in over a decade,” he started, glancing through the crowd but not noticing his group several rows away. “I’m a bit nervous so be gentle with me.”

                Taking a deep breath, he flexed his fingers over the guitar and started playing.

_**I heard that you're settled down**_  
_**That you found someone and you're settled now.** _  
_**I heard that your dreams came true.** _  
_**Guess she gave you things I didn't give to you.** _

                 
                Michael felt the words strike through him, shattering his heart to pieces.

                 
                _**Old friend, why are you so shy?  
                **__**Ain't like you to hold back or hide from the light.**_  
_**I hate to turn up out of the blue uninvited**_  
**_But I couldn't stay away, I couldn't fight it._                **  
**_I had hoped you'd see my face and that you'd be reminded_**  
**_That for me it isn't over._**

                                 
                Isobel reached out to take his hand but his glistened eyes were stuck on Alex. As he moved in towards the microphone, he kept his eyes closed, feeling the words wash through his soul as he sang.

                                 
              **_Never mind, I'll find someone like you_**  
**_I wish nothing but the best for you too_**  
**_Don't forget me, I beg_**  
**_I'll remember you said,_**  
**_"Sometimes it lasts in love but sometimes it hurts instead,_**  
**_Sometimes it lasts in love but sometimes it hurts instead"_**

**_  
                _**He leaned back to play a gentle chord before he started singing again, unable to look at the crowd. The gentle smoothness of his voice made the tears in Michael’s eyes grow.

                                 
                **_You know how the time flies  
                _****_Only yesterday was the time of our lives_**  
**_We were born and raised_**  
**_In a summer haze_**  
_**Bound by the surprise of our glory days**_

                                 
                Max leaned forward to glance at his brother, seeing the heartbreak and vulnerability on full display.

                                 
               **_I hate to turn up out of the blue uninvited_**  
**_But I couldn't stay away, I couldn't fight it._**  
**_I'd hoped you'd see my face and that you'd be reminded_**  
**_That for me it isn't over._**  
  
**_Never mind, I'll find someone like you  
               _****_I wish nothing but the best for you too_**  
**_Don't forget me, I beg_**  
_**I'll remember you said,**  
__" Sometimes it lasts in love but sometimes it hurts instead"_

**_  
               _**His fingers graced over the strings, playing the chords to the song his heart had memorized.

  
               **_Nothing compares_**  
**_No worries or cares_**  
**_Regrets and mistakes_**  
**_They are memories made._**  
**_Who would have known how bittersweet this would taste?_**

  
               Finally opening his eyes, Alex played the last set of chords as he stared off into the distance.

  
               **_Never mind, I'll find someone like you_**  
**_I wish nothing but the best for you  
_**                 _ **Don't forget me, I beg I'll remember you said,**  
 _ _ "Sometimes it lasts in love but sometimes it hurts instead"_

                                 
               Ending the song on a gentle pull of the strings, he lifted his head just as the crowd erupted into cheers, many people rising from their seats to applaud his performance. Surprised by how well they had received him, he rose to his feet and waved shyly before turning to leave.

                “Please sing another song!” the hostess rushed towards him. “That was amazing, it really was.”

                “I think one song is enough for me right now,” he chuckled, moving past the band who seemed livelier than before.

                “He’s back,” Isobel commented as they all glanced towards Michael.

                Wiping at his eyes, he snapped out of his daze and jumped to his feet.

                “I have to go see him,” he mumbled, making his way through the crowd.

                “Well come on, let’s go!” Isobel urged as she turned to quickly follow, the others close behind.

                As their group made their way out back, they heard the hostess bring a clown on stage to the crowd’s dismay. Michael stopped dead in his tracks when he saw him, his heart beating wildly behind his ribs. Standing at an empty table, Alex was placing his guitar back in its case before tossing his leather jacket on. With Isobel’s gentle urging, Michael swallowed hard and came to take a step forward when he suddenly froze.

                “Nice performance, Captain.”

                Alex whirled around and smiled brightly when he saw who it was.

                “Matt?” he asked, moving forward to close the distance. “What are you doing here?”

                “You spoke enough about this place, I figured it was worth checking out,” the handsome Lieutenant replied before he pulled Alex into his arms for a warm embrace.

                Michael swallowed the mixture of jealousy and grief that had bubbled inside him as he watched Alex wrap his arms around the other man. They stayed that way for a beat too long before pulling back.

                “Seriously, why are you here?”

                “Alright, so maybe I missed you.”

                “Matt,” Alex started. “We said goodbye.”

                “I know we did,” the other man said, taking a step closer. “What if I don’t want to?”

                Alex looked down as he ran a hand through his hair.

                “Michael, we should go,” Isobel gently tugged at his arm.

                Feeling the sting of his tears as they fell down his cheeks, he let her quietly drag him away so they were no longer in Alex’s view.

                “Look, I know you have a lot going on here with your guy,” Matt started. “I just wanted to know if there was a chance.”

                “A chance for what?” Alex asked quietly.

                “If I put my hat in the ring, would I have a chance?”

                Alex watched him briefly, surprised by his words. “I didn’t think you…”

                “Alex, you’re one of the most beautiful people I have ever laid my eyes on, inside and out,” Matt said, his smile gentle. “I’d kick myself if I didn’t at least try.”

                “Sorry, I wasn’t expecting this,” Alex chuckled. “I haven’t even seen Guerin yet. I’m not sure I want to. Respecting his relationship with Maria is one thing, but seeing it up close, seeing them happy together, it’s too much. Maybe that makes me a coward. Maybe I should be the bigger person, the better person, and just seek them out, give them my blessing but it just hurts too much.”

                “That’s why you went to California. For a fresh start,” Matt said with a nod. “How did it feel, singing that song?”

                “Liberating,” Alex confessed. “But it’s not like he heard it.”

                Matt regarded him for a long moment before he took a step back. “I’m staying at the Hampton Inn on Sixth Avenue. I have it booked for three nights. Take a couple days, see where you land on everything. Then come find me.”

                Leaning in to press a kiss on Alex’s cheek, Matt turned and walked away.

                “Alright, he’s gone,” Max said, moving away from his hiding spot.

                “Michael, are you okay?” Isobel asked, running her hand up and down his arm.

                “I guess he moved on,” he finally found his voice. “What did I expect when he left though, right? That he’d come back here and let me make things right?”

                “Look, we can’t just hide here right now. He’s my friend. I’m going to go talk to him and catch up,” Liz started.

                “No!” Michael snapped, releasing a heavy sigh. “It has to be me.”

                Without anymore hesitation, Michael rounded the corner and made his way forward just as Alex tightened his hold on the guitar case and looked up. Stunned to see Michael moving towards him, he barely had time to drop the case on the floor before Michael was scooping him into his arms, wrapping him up in a tight embrace. Alex’s hands lingered in the air around them, too scared to move them in.

                “Guerin, what are you doing?” he asked when he found his voice.

                Realizing the hug was one sided, Michael swallowed the ache he felt and pulled away.

                “I missed you.”

                Alex watched him for a few beats before pulling out of his reach, grabbing his guitar from the ground. “You can’t say things like that to me, not anymore.”

                “Why not?” Michael demanded as he followed him across the street.

                When he was met by nothing but silence, Michael waited until they had reached Alex’s truck before he grabbed his arm to spin him around.

                “Damnit Alex, talk to me!”

                “You’re dating my best friend!” Alex finally shouted, ignoring the looks they were getting from passersbys. “So just stop, Guerin! You made your choice and I respected it. You can’t tell me you miss me anymore.”

                “Maria and I broke up.”

                Alex was surprised by the words but then he laughed and took a step back.

                “That’s supposed to matter?” he snapped, his anger twisting something in Michael’s gut. “You didn’t even have that much respect for me to show up at your trailer and tell me in person. Or hell, you could have called, sent me a text. Neither of you did! You just jumped into bed with each other. Am I supposed to care if you just broke up now?”

                Michael shook his head, his tears returning full force.

                “We never sept together. I just couldn’t,” he confessed quietly. “I don’t think she could either.”

                Alex took the news with a hard swallow. “It doesn’t matter anymore.”

                “Yes, it does!” Michael said, moving even closer. “We broke up a week after that day. I came to your cabin to talk and Kyle was there. You were already gone.”

                “You came by expecting what? That I would welcome you with open arms?” Alex asked, scoffing in disbelief. “Look, Guerin, I won’t pretend that I’m the only wounded party in this whole mess. I stopped playing the victim a long time ago. Besides, God knows I walked away from you enough times, I hurt you over and over again. By the time I was strong enough to face my demons, to find my inner strength, I was too late. You’d already moved on. I know the role I played in that.”

                Releasing a deep breath, Alex ran a hand down his face.

                “But neither of you gave enough shit about me to tell me to my face. I had to wait around your trailer all day and then find out from Kyle the next morning.”

                “I am so sorry,” was all Michael could manage.

                “It doesn’t matter how sorry you are, Guerin. It doesn’t matter how sorry _I_ am. This thing between us has never worked and you were right. What you said at Caulfield, you were right. We’ve been holding onto this thing for so long. We just need to let it go.”

                Michael felt the remains of his heart shatter at the words being tossed back at him. He saw the tears that had welled in Alex’s eyes and reached out with his good hand before Alex stepped back again.

                “I left because it was what I needed to do for myself. This town has more bad memories for me than good. My heart’s been broken over and over again and I couldn’t do it anymore. If I wanted to move on, to get right with myself, to give you your chance at happiness, I had to go so I did.”

                “All the way to California to Mr. Perfect?” Michael spat.

                Alex frowned for a moment before scoffing. “You do not get to judge me for anything.”

                Michael steeled himself, letting his bitterness leak through.

                “Yeah, and you said you were done walking away.”

                “Yeah, you’re right,” Alex started. “Do you know what else I remember? You telling me you never look away. I guess we both lied.”

                Pushing his guitar into his trunk, he slammed it shut and moved towards his door. Michael watched him leave, all fight leaving him at his words.

                “Alex!” he exclaimed, rounding the car towards him.

                “What?” he snapped, spinning around.

                Michael closed the distance and crashed their lips together, pushing Alex hard against his car as he poured all of his love, anger and affection into the kiss. Alex felt stunned for a second before his arms wrapped around Michael’s shoulders, pulling at his curls and lifting his body up to meet his. Groaning at the feel of Alex pressed against him, Michael tightened his arms and pushed him harder against the car. When they had to pull back for air, Alex lowered his shaky hand to his mouth, a stunned look on his face.

                “No,” he whispered, pushing Michael away. “You can’t just kiss me and pretend that fixes things. That’s what we always did, thinking sex was the answer but it isn’t. We’re broken, Guerin. There’s too much damage between us.”

                “Give me a chance,” Michael pleaded, his fingers threading into Alex’s jacket. “Let me show you it can be different.”

                “It can’t. We can’t go back,” Alex said, shaking his head. “I’m in a good place right now. My head’s at a good place. I won’t be able to handle it when my heart breaks again.”

                “Alex, your heart is the most precious thing in the world to me,” Michael whispered, cupping his cheeks with his hands. “You mean everything to me. Please don’t give up on us.”

                “I can’t do this,” Alex whispered, pulling out of Michael’s embrace and climbing into his car.

                All Michael could do was watch as Alex pulled away from the curb and peeled down the road.

                “That was intense,” Isobel said, her voice making him turn to face her.

                When she saw the tears in his eyes, she quickly rushed forward and pulled him against her.

                “I’m so sorry, Michael,” she soothed him.

                “I have to go deal with that,” Kyle pointed in the direction Alex had disappeared before making his way to his own car.

                Isobel motioned for Liz and Max to follow, knowing Michael’s vulnerability was one he didn’t want more people to witness. When it was just them left, Isobel leaned back with a small smile.

                “I just need him to give me one more chance.”

                “It doesn’t seem like it’s just anger at you, Michael,” she started. “I think he doesn’t trust himself as much as he doesn’t trust you.”

                “One chance,” he repeated. “That’s all I need.”

                She sighed heavily before nodding. “Then I’ll do what I can to help you.”

 


	3. Chapter 3

*****

 

                “Tell me why we had to come _here_ again?” Alex asked, climbing out of Kyle’s truck and following him towards the Wild Pony.

                “It’s the only bar in town, Manes,” Kyle reminded him. “Plus, you want to show your _friend_ a good time tonight, right? Not much else to do around here.”

                “It’s not like that,” Alex protested.

                “Guy came all the way here to throw his hat in the ring. It’s exactly like that,” Kyle chuckled. “But then there’s Guerin who definitely wants his hat in the ring.”

                “That can’t happen again,” Alex sighed, leaning against the side of the building.

                “Guerin kissing you or you and Guerin in general?”

                Alex watched him for a moment before a surprised laugh escaped his throat.

                “It feels weird talking to you about this stuff,” he admitted.

                “How come?” Kyle looked offended. “You know I’m not _that_ guy anymore.”

                Alex nodded, reaching out to pat Kyle’s arm in assurance. “I know. I guess it’s just nice having someone to talk to about everything.”

                “That’s what besties are for,” Kyle said, his smile warm. “So, which did you mean?”

                “Both,” Alex replied. “We've just never been on the same page. When one of us gets there, the other’s somewhere else.”

                “Sounds frustrating.”

                “It’s been a good four months for me,” Alex said as a group of people walked past them inside the bar. “I don’t want that to change.”

                “I don’t think it has to,” Kyle replied. “You being in a better place could mean that you’re ready to really be with him now and as much as he’s been apologizing and moping, all miserable while you were gone, I think he is too. Maybe you’re both finally on the same page.”

                “It still hurts, what he did,” Alex admitted. “I can’t help but feel that way. If you hadn’t told me that morning, I wouldn’t have known.”

                “Yeah, they handled that one pretty bad,” Kyle agreed. “But take it from me and believe me, I’m not the biggest fan of Guerin and vice versa, it’s obvious how sorry he is and how much he wants you.”

                Alex looked away at the words, staring off into the dark night.

                “He’s been working on some secret project these past four months. No one knows what it is.”

                “Probably trying to finish the console for the ship,” Alex said before sighing. “Thank you for giving him the missing glass piece.”

                “Don’t worry about it,” Kyle replied, keeping the details of that conversation hidden from Alex.

                “I know it was cowardly of me. I should have given it to him when he showed me his bunker and if not then, before I left town.”

                “We all make mistakes when we’re emotional.”

                “You’re trying to tell me something, aren’t you?” Alex groaned.

                Kyle chuckled in response. “What I’m saying is that you were one hundred percent justified in being angry at both of them. If it were me, I’d be just as ticked. You were also right to leave town when you did, making a choice that helped your emotional and mental state. You won’t find me criticizing you for any of that.”

                “But?” Alex pressed.

                “But,” Kyle smiled. “You need to make a choice now. Guerin is obviously head over heels for you.”

                Alex swallowed and looked down.

                “I think that guy would probably lay himself down on the tracks of an incoming train for you,” Kyle continued, his words making Alex’s breath catch in his throat. “I haven’t seen the two of you together all that much but from the bits and pieces I _have_ seen, the connection the two of you have seems pretty out of this world, no pun intended.”

                When Alex made no effort to argue, Kyle leaned in to touch his shoulder.

                “You just need to decide if that connection, that feeling is worth it,” he said, his voice gentle. “It could end up being everything you ever wanted or it could break down again. I can’t tell you what to do. You have to do what’s right for you.”

                “It would be a lot easier if you just told me,” Alex grumbled.

                Kyle chuckled before he noticed Alex’s friend approaching them from the lot.

                “Well, on top of that, you also have new guy to deal with.”

                Alex looked over to see Matt moving towards them, a broad smile on his face.

                “Don’t be an ass,” he warned.

                “Who, me?” Kyle feigned innocence and laughed when Alex glared. “Alright, too soon for that joke.”

                “Hey,” Matt greeted, directing his smile to Alex before facing Kyle. “I’m Matt, nice to meet you.”

                “Kyle Valenti. Manes here has mentioned you already.”

                “He’s mentioned you too,” Matt chuckled.

                “All good things I hope,” Kyle grinned, slotting his arm over Alex’s shoulders as he ushered them inside the bar.

                Hit by a wave of loud music and rowdy laughter, Kyle steered them towards an empty booth and moved to sit beside Alex, forcing Matt on the bench across from them. Alex tilted his head towards the counter before looking away.

                “Want me to get De Luca for you?” Kyle asked.

                “No!” Alex muttered. “I know I have to go up there but just give me a minute.”

                 “Sure, sure,” Kyle nodded and faced Matt. “What are you drinking?”

                “Just whatever beer’s on tap.”

                “Great and let me guess, whisky for you?” he asked, looking at Alex.

                “Make it a double,” Alex grumbled.

                Kyle smiled before moving towards the bar.

                “Glad you asked me to come,” Matt started.

                “Kyle was right. This town doesn’t have much in ways of entertainment. This is the only bar.”

                “We could have just gotten a bite to eat,” Matt offered. “It’s obvious you’re not ready to have this conversation with your friend yet.”

                Before Alex could reply, he heard a quiet shuffle behind him.

                “Hi Alex.”

                Taking a deep breath and cursing Kyle’s existence, he turned around to see Maria standing behind him, her gaze cautious.

                “Hi,” he said, his shoulders dropping.

                “I like the look,” she started. “Leather jacket suits you.”

                “I guess it’s a bit of a callback to my earlier days, minus the eyeliner and piercings,” he replied, his words making Maria smile.

                Remembering his companion, he leaned back to introduce them.

                “Matt, this is my old friend Maria and this is Matt, a friend from California.”

                An awareness entered Maria’s eyes before she turned her gaze away from Alex. “Nice to meet you.”

                “You too,” Matt smiled politely.

                “Alex, do you have a minute?”

                Everything in him was screaming to make an excuse to avoid the conversation but he ignored the voices and nodded.

                “I’ll be back,” he told Matt before following Maria towards the rear office, glaring at a waving Kyle on his way.

                When they were inside the room, Maria closed the door to give them privacy.

                “How have you been?” he found himself asking.

                “Good,” she nodded, leaning against the wall as he sat on the lone sofa. “Bar’s picked up a lot so I’ve been pretty busy.”

                Alex nodded in response. “How about your mom? How is she doing?”

                Maria softened at his words. “She still forgets sometimes but with Rosa back, it seemed to have jogged her memory for whatever strange reason and yes, I know about aliens.”

                Alex chuckled despite himself. “Who ended up telling you?”

                “Well, Liz tried to pretend that Rosa was actually Rosita, their long lost cousin but I just kept getting a strange vibe,” Maria explained. “Then one day I saw Isobel acting really weird so I followed her. Still not sure why I did. She went to Max and Liz in the desert and he had thunder coming out of his hands. I kind of freaked out and Liz told me everything.”

                “Where do you land on all that now?” Alex asked.

                “A lot of things about this town make more sense, I guess,” she continued. “I also heard about Noah which was insane.”

                “Insane sums everything up pretty well,” Alex smiled before catching himself and looking away.

                Swallowing hard, Maria crossed the room until she was sitting beside him.

                “Alex, I don’t even know where to begin.”

                “We don’t need to do this,” he said quietly.

                “Yes, we do!” she exclaimed. “I have so much to apologize for.”

                Alex sighed and they stayed quiet for several beats before he started fidgeting with his hands.

                “Half the reason I left was because I didn’t want to get in the way,” he started and Maria kept her gaze downwards, unable to look at him. “Despite it all, you two were probably the closest people in the world to me. Short of giving you my blessing which I don’t think I could have done, leaving was a way for me to bow out.”

                “Alex…,” she started but he held his hand up to stop her.

                “The other half of why I left was because it hurt too damn much,” he continued and their eyes finally met. “It really hurt, Maria. You told me it meant nothing to you, that you and him wouldn’t happen again. You knew how I felt about him, that it wasn’t just a simple crush for me. But you guys still got together and stayed together without telling me anything. I had to hear it from Kyle.”

                Maria looked away as a tear rolled down her cheek.

                “You didn’t need my permission and it wasn’t as if Guerin and I were together. I know all of that,” Alex said, blinking through his own tears. “But I just wish you guys had respected me enough to tell me to my face.”

                “I was too scared,” Maria whispered.

                “That doesn’t make it okay,” Alex replied and she nodded.

                “I know,” her voice was small as she faced him again. “I am so sorry.”

                “I think what made it hurt even more is that he and I were reconnecting again. I mean, we got back together briefly when I came back to town but then we had an argument and I walked away like I always did. But at least I told him it was over. It was all bullshit because it wasn’t over, at least not for me but my head wasn’t in the right place. My father’s shadow still loomed over me. But I told him, you know? I didn’t just leave him waiting and wondering and then disappear for days. Then on top of that, go start something with Max. He’s Guerin’s brother, just like you were always like a sister to me.”

                Maria bit her lower lip as her tears started falling freely.

                “I’m not saying this to hurt you, Maria,” he said, feeling an ache inside him as he watched her cry.

                “I know,” she nodded. “You have the biggest heart from anyone I’ve ever met.”

                Alex sighed as he leaned his elbows on his knees. “I’ve made so many mistakes in my life, I honestly lost count. Guerin and I wouldn’t have been apart if I hadn’t walked away first. I know that. But this ripped my heart into pieces, Maria. I just need you to understand that.”

                 “Do you believe me when I say I’m sorry?” she asked.

                He smiled sadly before nodding. “Yes.”

                “Do you think one day you could forgive me?”

                He swallowed hard before nodding again. “One day.”

                “I can work with one day,” she said, wiping her tears away.

                Tilting his head to the side, he reached out to take her hand and she felt a new wave of tears falling.

                “Please stop crying.”

                “I can’t help it,” she whispered. “I know how much I hurt you.”

                “Maria,” he started, taking both of her hands in his. “We’ll get there someday.”

                “Alex, I…,” she began but he silenced her by pulling her into his arms.

                Stunned by his move, she melted against him, clinging onto his jacket as he held her tightly against him. They stayed locked together for several quiet moments until her sobbing finally stopped. Pulling back, she wiped her eyes and smiled apologetically.

                “What about Guerin?” she asked and when he started looking away, she grabbed his hand to steady him. “We need to get this part out too. Alex, he is so incredibly gone on you.”

                “Sometimes love isn’t enough,” he replied. “Sometimes it’s better for everyone if you just cut the ties that bind you and move on.”

                Maria wanted to offer advice, to push him into forgiving Michael and making things work but she knew he wasn’t ready to have that conversation with her yet. Nodding at his words, she squeezed his hand before they rose to their feet.

                “Are you back to stay?” she asked.

                “Probably not,” he shrugged. “I got offered another contract gig over in DC. I have to give them my answer by tomorrow. If I take it, I’ll be over there for six months.”

                She nodded in surprise but kept her sadness masked behind a small smile.

                “I hope you stay,” she said, her smile slowly fading. “I know you’re still hurting but this will always be your home.”

                He nodded kindly and followed her out of the office. They exchanged one final look before he made his way back to their booth, all but collapsing against Kyle.

                “You alright, man?”

                “As if you didn’t tell her I was here,” Alex grumbled, leaning up in his seat.

                Kyle shrugged without apology. “I don’t like to see you hurting.”

                Alex tilted his head back and watched him for a moment before shaking his head fondly.

                “Where’s my whisky?” he demanded, taking the full glass from Kyle and chugging the shot down.

                Matt watched them from his side of the booth before taking a sip of his own drink. They stayed in the bar for another hour swapping stories before deciding to call it a night. Matt offered to drive Alex home but Kyle waved him off and pulled Alex against him.

                “That’s what he has me for.”

                Telling the other man goodnight, the two of them made their way to Kyle’s truck and were on the road in seconds.

                “He’s not a bad guy, you know,” Alex commented when they were halfway home to the cabin.

                “Yeah, but if you go for him, you’ll probably end up going back to California,” Kyle replied. “So I’m more invested in you choosing Guerin due to pure selfish reasons.”

                Alex couldn’t help the laugh that erupted from his chest.

                “It’s crazy, isn’t it?” he asked when Kyle tilted his head towards him. “If you would have asked me when I first came back to town months ago, which of my friends I’d be closest with, you wouldn’t even be on the list. Now, I’m closer to you than Liz or Maria.”

                Alex sobered as he sat up straight.

                “It makes me sad, how far away I am from the two of them but having you in my corner these past few months, it’s really meant a lot, Kyle.”

                “Well, I had a lot to make up for. I still do.”

                “No, you don’t,” Alex said as they pulled up to the cabin.

                They shared a smile before Kyle parked beside Alex’s truck.

                “You want the couch or the bed?” he asked as they made their way towards the porch.

                “Couch is good. This is your place now anyway,” Alex shrugged.

                Before Kyle could answer, his cell phone started blaring. Digging it from his pocket, he read the message and sighed.

                “Emergency at the hospital. I have to go in,” he said, tossing the keys to Alex. “It’ll probably be late so I’ll see you in the morning.”

                “Alright, good night,” Alex waved and watched as Kyle drove away.

                Staring up at the starry night sky, Alex hesitated for a moment before turning back. Moving to his truck, he grabbed his guitar and sat on one of the lounge chairs on the porch. Removing his jacket, he positioned the guitar over his knees and leaned back against the cushion, closing his eyes before he started to play.

  
               _**This Romeo is bleeding, but you can't see his blood**_  
_**It's nothing but some feelings**_  
_**That this old dog kicked up**_  
_**It's been raining since you left me**_  
_**Now I'm drowning in the flood**_  
_**You see I've always been a fighter**_  
_**But without you I give up**_

                                 
               He played a few chords and leaned forward in his seat, his eyes still closed.

  
               _**Now I can't sing a love song**_  
_**Like the way it's meant to be**_  
_**Well, I guess I'm not that good anymore**_  
_**But baby, that's just me**_

**_Yeah I, will love you, baby_**  
_**Always and I'll be there**_  
_**Forever and a day, always** _

                                 
                Sighing heavily, he stopped playing and opened his eyes. He gasped when he saw Michael leaning against the bottom step.

                “What are you doing here?” he asked, swallowing his sudden anxiety.

                Michael was simply watching him, a soft smile on his face. “You have an amazing voice.”

                Unsure how to reply, Alex lowered his guitar back in the case, allowing Michael a glimpse at his tattoo.

                “What does it say?” he asked when Alex looked up again. “Your tattoo.”

                He frowned and twisted his arm to glance down at the writing. “Be your own anchor.”

                Michael took a sharp breath at the words.

                “I was sitting at a restaurant in San Diego and these two young girls were at the next table,” he started. “I think they were talking about some show on TV or something when one of them mentioned this quote. It stayed with me.”

                He rubbed his hand over the tattoo, a thoughtful look on his face.

                “Did it hurt?” Michael asked.

                Alex chuckled without humor. “I had my leg blown off in war. A small tattoo doesn’t really compare.”

                Michael swallowed and dug his hands in his pockets. “Why did you get it?”

                Releasing a deep breath, Alex leaned forward and pressed his elbows on his knees.

                “You have no idea what it’s like to feel so incredibly powerless for so long,” he replied, staring off into the distance. “I know your childhood was difficult like mine but it’s different when it’s your own family that’s hurting you. Not because they're drunk or out of their minds but because they hate who you are. They hate everything about you.”

                Michael looked away for a moment, the reminder of their painful pasts resurfacing old wounds.

                “It was one of the reasons I finally enlisted,” Alex continued, his words drawing Michael’s gaze back to him. “At that point, I didn’t have much fight in me left and I wanted that strength back. I wanted to stop being so afraid.”

                Michael took a small step forward, wanting to sit beside him but hesitated at the last second.

                “It wasn’t easy,” Alex said, meeting his eyes. “Being gay and in the military brought a whole new level of torment. It was like high school only worse and without any escape. I had to trust those guys to watch my back out there and for a long time, I didn’t. I pretended pretty well but deep down, I was alone and terrified.”

                Michael felt the ache inside his chest grow as he listened.

                “But then you do something they consider heroic and all of a sudden, everyone was my best friend,” Alex said as he patted his prosthetic. “All I had to do was lose my leg.”

                He ignored the broken look in Michael’s eyes and clasped his hands together between his knees.

                “Months of physio, PTSD, countless sessions in therapy. Most nights, I still can’t sleep. Sometimes, the nightmares take all the strength out of me,” he said, his exhaustion bleeding through. “It wasn’t easy and it still isn’t. But when I heard those words, ‘be your own anchor’, it was like the words were meant for me to hear.”

                Michael nodded, swallowing to keep his emotions at bay.

                “When all of this alien drama started, I stood up to my dad, finally, and I can’t begin to tell you how good that felt.”

                “I can imagine,” Michael replied quietly.

                “Yeah, I guess you could,” Alex agreed and their eyes met again. “But it wasn’t until I got that tattoo that it really stuck. Whatever happiness I want from this life, whatever strength I need, it has to come from inside first. I can’t depend on anyone else for that feeling of safety or strength anymore.”

                The words cut through Michael, leaving a hollow feeling in their wake.

                “For the longest time I thought you…,” Alex tried before his sentence ran off and he cleared his throat. “Why are you here?”

                “I wanted to talk,” Michael replied, turning to fully face him.

                Alex closed his eyes and sighed, his body and mind too tired to repeat their earlier conversation. When he opened his eyes again, he could see the shattered vulnerability staring back at him. Everything in him screamed to reach out and pull Guerin towards him, to sink himself in a love that left him raw and broken as much as it lifted and healed him. But he couldn’t let himself go back there again.

                “What else is there to say?” he finally asked.

                Michael swallowed the lump in his throat and moved up a couple steps, holding onto the railing as a lifeline.

                “I didn’t think I could separate you from your father, from what happened that day,” he started and immediately hated the hurt he saw in Alex’s eyes.

                “I understand,” Alex nodded bitterly. “I can never escape him, can I?”

                “I was _wrong_ ,” Michael exclaimed, his words drawing Alex’s gaze back to him. “I thought if I tried being with someone else, that maybe I could be normal. That maybe I could be happy without all that pain.”

                Michael shook his head before smiling sadly.

                “But everything felt wrong. I was too much of a coward to talk to you first because I knew what you wanted to say. I knew from that night before in my trailer and it scared me, Alex. It scared me so I hid and I pretended and I tried forcing something with her but it wouldn’t stick. None of it made sense.”

                Alex lowered his gaze to the ground, trying his hardest to keep his emotions hidden.

                “Everything felt wrong. Not just because I felt guilty for hurting you the way I did. That’s on its own, that guilt,” Michael said, running a hand through his hair. “The weight of her, how it felt with her in my arms.”

                Alex quickly looked away but Michael closed the remaining distance and knelt in front of him, gently bringing his gaze back.

                “I didn’t sleep with her, Alex,” he said, his voice firm. “I couldn’t sleep with her because deep down, I knew why it was wrong. Not just because I felt guilty.”

                When Alex kept his soulful eyes locked on his, Michael tilted his head.

                “It was because she wasn’t you. No one can ever be you.”

                Alex’s breath caught in his throat as he blinked through the tears that had begun to well.

                “I know I hurt you. But I’m begging you, Alex. Please don’t walk away this time. Give me a chance.”

                “Don’t you get it, Guerin?” Alex asked as he wiped at his tears. “That was just one of the many reasons why you and I don’t work. I walked away from you first. How could I expect you not to move on? I just didn’t think you’d do it with my best friend.”

                “I didn’t move on. It was a spectacular failure and my biggest regret,” Michael shook his head. “I could never move on because you’re it for me. You have been since the day you offered me your shed.”

                “Look at all the damage between us,” Alex reminded. “If it’s not us hurting each other, it’s something or someone else. Look at everything my father did. Every time you look at me, as much as you say it’s not true, you’ll always see him.”

                “No!” Michael snapped. “He is nothing but a cruel, brutal darkness. I look at you and all I see is light. I see a love that’s kept me moving for over a decade.”

                Reaching up, he tenderly pressed his hand against Alex’s cheek.

                “I see forever.”

                Holding both sides of his face, Michael moved until their foreheads were pressed together. Alex raised his shaky hands to Michael’s chest, unsure if he wanted to pull him in or push away.

                “I can’t go there again,” Alex whispered, his voice breaking. “I know I walked away first. I know I hurt you at the drive in. But this killed me, Guerin. She wasn’t some random I could ignore didn’t exist.”

                Pulling away, Alex released the breath he’d been holding.

                “Please go,” he pleaded. “We can’t fix this anymore. Please just let me go.”

                Unable to stand the ache growing inside him, Michael pulled Alex into his arms, clinging onto him tightly. He felt the other man’s resolve break and Alex finally melted against him. They stayed that way for several moments, lost in each other and oblivious to the quiet darkness around them. When Alex finally stiffened and moved back, Michael felt his heart break all over again.

                “Can you do one thing for me?” he asked, stopping Alex from fully leaving his arms. “Tomorrow, will you meet me somewhere?”

                “Guerin…”

                “I know the guy that followed you here came because he wants to be with you.”

                “Nothing happened,” Alex felt a need to explain before he bit his tongue.

                Feeling an ease he knew he didn’t deserve, Michael twined their fingers together.

                “He’s _your_ chance at normal but you know what, Alex? It won’t work anymore than me and De Luca.”

                Reaching out, he laid his hand over Alex’s heart.

                “Our connection is cosmic, remember? We’ve never been able to escape it.”

                Alex bit his lower lip and slowly covered Michael's hand with his, the touch making Michael smile.

                “Tomorrow, come meet me out on Road Nine. Just drive east out of town towards my trailer. About five miles past that, you’ll find me.”

                Their eyes met and Michael held the gaze before leaning in to press a kiss at Alex’s temple. When Alex didn’t pull away, he dragged his lips down and pressed another kiss to his cheek and a final kiss at his neck. Breathing in the familiar scent, he squeezed their fingers together. As much as it pained him to leave, Michael knew he had to go about this the right way. Pulling back, he rose to his feet as Alex tilted his head up to watch him with a dazed expression.

                “Meet me tomorrow.”

                Leaning in a final time, he kissed Alex once more on his forehead before walking to his truck. When the dust had settled and Michael was long gone, Alex pressed his fingers against his temple, feeling the kiss like a brand on his skin.

 


	4. FOUR

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you for reading :)

*****

 

                “They’ve got amazing pancakes here,” Alex said as he led Matt into the Crashdown, taking a seat at the counter and smiling at Rosa.

                “Ten years later and it all feels the same,” she greeted, pointing at her uniform.

                Alex smiled at the craziness behind her words and grabbed a menu.

                “What can I get for you two crazy kids?”

                “Can I just get an order of pancakes and a coffee?” Alex asked, removing his leather jacket.

                Rosa took a moment to stare at his toned arms in his maroon shirt before looking towards a frowning Matt.

                “And for you, new guy?”

                “Same order please.”

                She turned her attention back to Alex, leaning in on her elbows.

                “Why are you gay?” she pouted, her question making Alex laugh. “Honestly, Manes, you look really good. Does Guerin know what he’s missing?”

                Alex cleared his throat and gave her a glare as Matt shifted in his seat.

                “What? Liz filled me in on a lot of things,” she defended.

                “Breakfast, please,” Alex said in a voice that bartered no argument.

                “You’re no fun,” she mumbled, moving away towards the kitchen.

                “Sorry about that,” Alex said, staring at the counter.

                “That’s okay,” Matt spoke after a moment. “Glad you asked me to breakfast.”

                Alex nodded just as his phone began to vibrate. “Best pancakes, remember?”

                Grabbing his phone from his pocket, he switched on the screen to see a text message.

                **_It’s me. Hope you don’t mind but I got your new number from Valenti. Can’t wait to see you today._**

                Sighing heavily, Alex put his phone face down on the counter and turned back to Matt.

                “Tomorrow’s your last day here. Are you going straight back to San Diego?”

                “Well, that depends,” Matt started, meeting his eyes. “On whatever answer you give.”

                Before Alex could reply, he felt a tap against his shoulder. Turning to his right, he saw Isobel leaning against the counter, a thoughtful look on her face.

                “Morning, Sunshine,” she greeted him, offering Matt a polite smile. “Sunshine’s friend.”

                “What’s with the nickname?” Alex snorted.

                “Well, when you walk in looking edible like _that_ , you get a nickname,” she replied, her words making him blush. “Do you have a minute?”

                Alex looked back at Matt briefly before rising to his feet. Offering his friend a smile in apology, he followed Isobel to the end of the dining area, sitting across her in a booth.

                “Is everything okay?” he asked, breaking the silence.

                “What’s that guy to you?”

                “Matt? He’s a friend.”

                “Does _Matt_ know he’s just a friend?” Isobel asked.

                “Who said _just_?” Alex countered, keeping his eyes level.

                Isobel smiled slowly, enjoying his refusal to back down when most people would have caved.

                “So he’s more than a friend?”

                “I’m sorry, but how is any of this your concern?”

                “ _Michael_ is my concern,” she said, the words making him sigh. “Look, I get what he did hurt you. He was an idiot. I’m not trying to excuse him but he went through a lot with everything that happened at Caulfield. You already know that. You were with him.”

                Alex swallowed and looked away.

                “He thought he could pretend with De Luca, attempt something different but he couldn’t. He could hardly kiss her without feeling so twisted inside and not just because of the guilt. It was because he knew he should have been kissing you instead.”

                “Look,” Alex said as he faced her again. “I appreciate what you’re trying to do. He and I spoke about this already last night when he showed up at the cabin. But I’ll tell you the same thing I told him. I hurt him first a few months ago and then he tore my heart out by going after Maria. The two of us are too broken. We can’t fix it anymore.”

                “What if you can?”

                Alex ran a hand down his face, glancing over her shoulder to see Matt sipping his coffee as Rosa interrogated him.

                “I get that he hurt you. Like I said, I love him but Michael can be an idiot sometimes,” she said, drawing his gaze back to her. “The truth is, everyone is going to hurt you. You just got to find the ones worth suffering for.”

                Alex stared at her for a long moment before a smile broke out on his face.

                “Did you just quote Bob Marley?”

                Isobel’s eyes widened, surprised at his recognition. “Music is my therapy. Do you have a problem with that?”

                He shook his head and chuckled. “Not at all. On that, we agree.”

                Her defenses lowered and she found herself smiling again. “All I meant was that your friend over there could be a really nice guy. He could treat you right and you could have a great life together.”

                “I think you’re jumping the gun just a little bit,” Alex cut in.

                “Regardless, he could be good for you. But Bob Marley really hit the nail on the head.”

                Alex couldn’t help but chuckle again. “I’m sorry, I’m just trying to picture you, the Stepford alien, listening to reggae.”

                She raised her brow and grinned. “You’re the badass Air Force Captain looking like a rebel that walked off the runway but you have a giant, soft teddy bear heart inside your chest. We all have our secrets.”

                Alex softened at her words as she cleared her throat.

                “What you said to me that day mattered. It helped me in a way that countless talks with Max and Michael and even Liz didn’t.”

                “I’m glad,” he said and she could see the sincerity in his words.

                “I know and that’s why I’m returning the favor,” she said, reaching out to lay her had on his. “Give Michael another chance. He’s been working on some project that none of us know about.”

                “I know. When he came by last night, he told me where to go and asked me to meet him today.”

                “Then why are you here and not with him?”

                Alex sighed heavily. “Guess I’m not in a hurry to get my heart broken again. That’s the funny part, you know? We take turns.”

                She squeezed his hand and their eyes met a final time. “Go see him.”

                He held her gaze for another second before rising to his feet.

                “Besides, think of all the witty remarks you and I can exchange once you forgive my silly brother and take him back.”

                Alex shook his head before walking back to his seat.

                “Everything okay?” Matt asked, watching him nervously.

                “Yeah, it’s fine,” he dismissed, taking a bite from his breakfast. “Let’s eat. I owe you a tour of the town, remember?”

                They shared a small smile and dug into their food. By the time they were finished, Alex gave Rosa another glare when she made kissy faces as they left. They spent the next hour walking around the streets, Alex pointing out the few significant parts of town before Matt stopped in front of the newly renovated UFO Emporium.

                “You alright?” Matt asked, snapping Alex out of his daze.

                “Yeah, I just used to work here when I was in high school. They renovated last year. Looks so different.”

                “Can we go in?” Matt asked, moving to buy two tickets from the attendant.

                Alex hesitated, feeling the significance of the place before his phone vibrated again.

                **_Please come, Alex. Just come to me._**

“You coming?” Matt’s voice forced him to look up.

                Offering a smile he didn’t feel, Alex shut his phone off again and followed him inside. Visitors were scarce, allowing them the comfort of setting their own pace as they walked through the museum. When they reached the far room at the end of the hall, Alex froze just inside the doorway. While the rest of the museum had a different look and feel, this room was exactly the same. The walls were still painted like a dark starry night while large spaceships hung down from the ceiling on display.

                 
                 _Alex walked into the room, twisting the visor nervously in his hands. Taking a deep breath, he steeled himself and spun around to see Michael standing behind him._

_“Okay, talk,” he said once he found his voice again._

_Their eyes met and Alex felt his nerves fight a war inside him, waiting for that killing blow when Michael let him down. But everything Michael did was unexpected. Grabbing the sides of Alex’s face, he quickly closed the distance and pressed their lips together. As first kisses went, it was nothing spectacular. Just a gentle press that lasted a few seconds. To Alex, it was the best kiss in the world. When they leaned back to lock eyes, Alex watched the other boy in stunned silence, a part of him still afraid that Michael would laugh and pull away. But the small, gentle smile that formed on Michael’s face made Alex fully aware of just how hard he had fallen in love with him. When they leaned in again, Alex dropped the visor without care. Their next kiss and every one after was no longer chaste. The press of their lips connected their souls, binding them together as they felt and tasted one another for the first time._

                “Alex, are you okay?”

                Snapping out of his daze, he looked up to see a worried Matt standing in front of him.

                “You’re not him.”

                He saw Matt’s expression go from confusion to understanding in a matter of seconds.

                “I didn’t think I was,” his friend said, smiling sadly.

                “I’m so sorry, Matt,” Alex started. “You really are a great guy. If it wasn’t for Guerin…”

                “I get it. I do,” Matt insisted. “Thank you for showing me around town today. I’m going to head back and pack my things.”

                “I’m sorry,” Alex said again.

                “Don’t be,” Matt shook his head. “Just make sure he doesn’t break your heart again.”

                Alex reached out to squeeze his arm before rushing out of the museum, all but running into Kyle outside.

                “What the hell, Alex! Are you okay?”

                “I’m good. Can I borrow your car?”

                Before Kyle could reply, Alex grabbed the keys from his hand and gave him a quick hug before climbing in and driving off. Kyle stood frozen, trying to understand what happened when he saw Matt walking out of the museum, a face full of dejection. When realization dawned, Kyle bit his lip to cover his smile as he jogged across the street to get lunch.

                Driving across town, going well over the speed limit, Alex switched on the radio to silence the voices telling him he was making a mistake. When he finally reached the outskirts of town and passed Sander’s lot, he drove another couple miles before he made out Michael’s truck in the distance. Pulling off the main road, he moved across the desert terrain before pulling the truck to a park. Once the dust had settled around him, he climbed out and took a few steps forward. Built into the ground before him was a large foundation with one wall already in place. Alex frowned, unable to make sense of the structure.

                “You came.”

                Spinning around, he saw Michael walking towards him wearing Alex’s favorite jeans and white tee, black cowboy hat and buckle in place. Alex took in his appearance with a gentle sigh, oblivious that his own figure was having the same effect on Michael.

                “What is this?” he found himself asking.

                “Sanders passed away two months ago,” Michael replied, stopping when there was just a few feet of distance between them. “He was surprisingly doing well for himself. I think it helped that he never had a family so whatever money he made was just sitting in the bank. He left me his business and this patch of land.”

                “That’s…congratulations?” Alex offered as Michael smiled and took another small step forward. “What are you building? It looks too big to be a spaceship.”

                “When Kyle gave me that final glass piece, I thought of finishing the console. You were gone and I wasn’t in a good place,” Michael started as Alex swallowed. “I entertained that thought for a whole of five minutes. I understand why you kept it. I was never mad at you for it.”

                “I’m still sorry, all the same,” Alex shrugged.

                Michael smiled at his words. “Then three days later, I got a call from some lawyer who told me about all this, the business and the land. I was shocked, didn’t know what to do at first. Then I came out here and I stared at this spot for hours until night came. That’s when I knew.”

                “Knew what?” Alex asked nervously.

                “That I wanted to build a home, one where I hope the two of us could share one day.”

                Alex gasped at his words, taking in the structure and suddenly picturing a house in its place. Michael reached out, extending his hand and waiting patiently until Alex was ready to take it. Hands linked together, they walked forward and stopped at the edge of the structure.

                “I figured we could have three bedrooms. One for us,” Michael said, blushing slightly. “One as a guest room in case Isobel wanted to stay and the third for, you know, a baby.”

                Alex snapped his gaze towards him but Michael swallowed and kept his eyes focused on the structure.

                “You and I both know you’ll be a kickass dad,” Michael smiled, staring at the finished wall. “I’ll just learn as I go and do my best.”

                “You’d make a wonderful father too,” Alex whispered, his words making Michael’s breath catch.

                “I thought we could have a nice bathroom, one with a big tub that we could soak in every night. So I could give you a massage when you’re tired,” he continued. “We could have a nice kitchen where I can cook since we both know you suck at it.”

                Alex felt his lip begin to quiver as tears gently rolled down his face.

                “I’d keep the business because I like working on cars and the trailer because the bunker’s there. But we’d have a real home here. A real bedroom that I could make love to you in every night before we slept.”

                Alex let out a shuddering breath as he listened.

                “We could add a big fireplace in the family room, add a nice carpet in front so I could make love to you there too,” Michael said, his eyes still focused forward. “We could have a nice, big porch too, wrapped around the house where we could play our guitars after dinner.”

                He bit his lip and finally looked at Alex, both their eyes full of tears.

                “All you have to do is say yes.”

                Alex stared at him for a long moment, his mind trying to catch up with his heart. There were so many reasons the two of them didn’t work. They came from different planets, Alex’s father and the brutality that was attached to him, the history of pain they had put each other through and so much more excuses. Looking into Michael’s hopeful eyes, Alex knew that for all the reasons they didn’t work, there was one main reason they did. Love was enough for them.

                “Yes,” he whispered.

                Michael’s eyes widened as he felt his heart beat wildly beneath his ribs.

                “Is that a yes to me?”

                “It’s a yes to everything.”

                They met in the middle and crashed together, opening their hearts as they kissed with every bit of passion and devotion between them. Reaching down with his hands, Michael lifted Alex off the ground as the other man yelped in surprise and wrapped his legs around his waist. Neither dared break the kiss until Michael had him pressed against the side of his truck, panting heavily as their hands held on in desperation.

                “I love you so much,” Michael whispered, tilting his head back to look into his eyes. “My heart’s always been yours. If I made you think, even for a moment, that my feelings wavered, I am so sorry, Alex. I made so many mistakes.”

                “We both did,” Alex added, caressing Michael’s cheek with one hand while his other tangled in the curls.

                “Are we in this? Really in this?”

                Alex swallowed the lump in his throat and took a deep breath.

                “I love you too, Michael.”

                Like a dam that had finally broken, Michael gave him a wide smile before crashing their lips together again.

                “Can we please go back to my trailer?” he groaned, tightening his arms around Alex. “You’re driving me crazy with how good you look. All I want to do is take your clothes off and make you mine.”

                “I am yours, Michael. I always have been.”

                Smiling through his tears, Michael wiped his eyes before gently doing the same to Alex. Kissing him again, he opened his truck door and helped Alex inside before rushing to the wheel. They kissed again in the car, neither able to stay apart for too long.

                “You really thought about all that?” Alex asked, leaning back. “Kids?”

                Michael’s smile widened. “I want everything with you.”

                Alex shut his eyes to keep a new wave of tears from falling. Once his emotions were collected, he kissed Michael a final time before smiling.

                “What are you waiting for then?”

 


End file.
